Tuesday, October 31, 2006

I also hate

When I am walking out of, lets say the business school, and I am presented with 2 doors. I choose one and it for some reason or other is locked. So now I feel like a dumbass even though there are no signs indicating that this door is locked. I think it's because of that brief moment that you have to spend realizing the door you just failed to go through is locked.

I hate that too.

Y'know what I hate?

When DJ's on the radio talk over the beginning of my song! What the hell is that all about?

I recently heard a bunch of DJ's discussing it and berating one guy for "going over" into the actual lyrics. As if fucking up the introduction to my favorite songs is some sort of skill?!? Listen up, jacksauce, the moment there is music playing and the hole in your head is still making noise you have /GONE OVER/!

Y'know how this started: Some jaded and experienced DJ was getting old and losing his....DJ Juice and kept slipping into the song while he did his station ID. After being called on it by the juniors he said "No...no, thats on purpose, it's a real trick to know when to stop talking".

Yeah..it is a real trick. A trick that any retarded bonobo could master but the entire radio industry is completely unable to grasp: Music on == SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU SLACK-JAWED GOOBER-SNOT!.

I only mention it because recently someone did it over the beginning of smells like teen spirit and I almost got into a wreck as I tried to prevent my brains from seeping out of my nose...

Vent

As punishment for my lifelong reluctance to discuss life with my fellow man my fellow man marches inexorably toward me with their problems. I'm not sure why either since I don't have any advice to offer other than "avoid asian women" and "DO NOT FORGET THE SEMICOLON". Regardless of my uselessness the recent months have seen me listening to the deep personal problems of people from absurd parts of my life. Distant acquaintances, friend's from bygone eras, some girl on the bus and classmates whose names I actively attempt to forget after each meeting have all just sort of begun talking about their issues at me. Issues so personal that I can't even offer examples on this here blogosphere.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. I'm not even sure what I am supposed to be feeling about. Has the recent past seen an upsurge of problems in my network's life or have I changed in some way or is it all just coincidence?

So I just sit quietly and wait for the magic phrase "anyway, I'm just venting, later" and wonder.

I think as an experiment I am going to contact some random person and just start to vent.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Idea

I remember this day in P.E. when we watched a "very important movie". I guess the the millenial girls had been exercising rampant "shunning" and the boomer adults were concerned. So there was this movie about this vile practice and what negative affects it wreaked on our society as a whole and why those who perpetrate this most unholy of crimes on their fellow humans would burn in the deepest recesses of hell. During this movie I realized I could slightly modify the government pens my dad brought from his office all the time into very stealthy hand-held canons. But the point made it through: Girls hate in hives and for long times.

I mention it only because my new idea lies in the same vein. If you could gather enough people who hate your shunning target and have them all report their emails as spam in gmail you could conceivably remove that person's emails from every gmail inbox in the world. And when Google inevitably leases their bayesian filters the whole world would merely forget your enemy exists in the interwebs.

She would lose friends, sig others, jobs and her very will to live in a matter of months. When they find her body at the bottom of the Potomac everyone will know but it won't have technically been a crime.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Convivial...for good measure

"Whats another word for 'social'. I mean 'social' as in 'gregarious'....oh"

I maintain that my communicating skill lies in speaking, not writing.

Amazon

People smarter than me: I am researching as much as possible, but if someone could sort all of that shit out I'd appreciate it.

Parties That Never End

Twins should always dress the same and should definitely have the same hair. Otherwise I have to sit and stare and wonder if they are actually twins.

That is all.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

What are you doing for halloween

Because we are going completely roid-rage geeky. We have assembled an entire sg-1 team. I'll post pictures when I can but suffice to say I, Dylan, Austin, and Dorothy are going as Teal'c, O'Neill, Jackson, and Carter respectively. We even are getting the patches and various character specific garb (i have the stuff on my forehead, dylan has googles, etc, etc).

We wanted to get a couple of airsoft p90's, but it doesn't seem like thats going to happen.

One thing I want to think about is how to construct a staff weapon. My first thought is a dowel and some paper mache...

If anyone has an idea, I'd be much obliged.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Remember Cynthia!

I found myself chatting on the intertroniwebcom with Tan recently...net. Since I will soon find myself in Seattle and in need of someplace to call my own I quest to bother anyone who will listen with questions about where should live. Tan decided that conversation wasn't enough to warrent her attention and decided instead to pull the rug from beneath my feet by asking "what are your plans, longterm?".

Generally when someone asks me a question about myself I have a well timed and witty response that I use to deftly avoid talking about anything of substance with anyone of substance. So having been asked "what are your plans, longterm" I could respond with a smile and "nailing you're mother" or "breathing steadily" or "exacting the climax of a 10 year plan meticulously laid out to bring about the complete emotional and mental breakdown of a particular woman chosen at random on the street". I managed to cough up a change of subject, but she made me realize I have not a single longterm plan. My last longterm plan is almost over: Graduating and getting a job. Back when Crystal and I were dating oh so many years go she had me write a letter to my graduated self. I stumbled across it and scrawled hastily across the page you'll find the words "you'd better have a damn job". So there you have it, besides nailing your mother I have no longterm plan.

So I have an obvious task set before me. I've given it some thought and even chatted to a consiglieri or two and this is what I have come up for myself for the next 10 years. This list is unfinished.

1. Figure out my religion. I've never been of faith and just the concept seems oxymoronic. Even if I did manage to pray myself into some absolute faith-based knowledge how would that faith be any more valid than someone else who has the exact same faith in something else? It would seem the answer is obvious but it really isn't. It's gonna require some thought.

2. Own land. Preferably in the mountains so my parents can retire there. This shouldn't be that hard since it's just a matter of timing and saving.

3. Build a house. A big one with a big kitchen and a Rottwieller.

4. Be involved in something for 5+ years. I would like to have a boyscout troop but without a son thats just creepy. So I dunno, I'll join or found a club of some sort.

And thats it. Suggestions?

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Woo

Incredibly stressful week. But now it's over and I am in the middle of one of those wonderful weekends that you have nothing to do but wait for t-bag to fly in.


Happy

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Concurrent Threads

We just locked up the Threads project.

Only 2 more projects left in my CS Career =-D.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Purge

I think I've all but decided to sell my TV to Dave. I figure I'll more than likely get a new one anyway and if I do I'll have to get rid of the old one anyway.

But I am thinking crazy things like "What the hell? I'll just get rid of everything." It'd be nice to completely empty myself of stuff and start over.

However, there are some necessary exceptions. My books can't go. I love my books. I would probably do well to get rid of the library Microsoft shoved down my throat. And my copy of "Intro To Oceanography" could probably do more good to some other half-price books shopper. Also, now that I am thinking about it, my library from high school is currently packed in boxes in my parent's attic. I think I'll snag those.

I also probably should keep some clothing. I only really wear 4 of my shirts and 1 pair of shorts and 2 pair of jeans. There is also a rotation of t-shirts involved, but I think I could drop a good pile of clothing at the local Goodwill.

If I get a place with a study the futon frame comes with. I'll get a new mattress but the frame is still pretty good.

I'm on the fence with the kichen shit. All the silverwear and mixing spoons etc are definitely out because I have a line on Pampered Chef (my mom) shit and i'll tell you, thats some damn good shit. I don't know about the pots and pans though. I've had them since Crossing Place and 5 years of loyal service isn't anything to sneeze at. Add another tick in their column for the simple fact that they are in great condition. I don't have the covers though. I don't know where they are and the pot and pan makers apparently do not make replacement covers for lines older than 3 years. I could probably fit some other year's covers. So I dunno.

I have a rocking dining room table. But I think I am turned off to the concept in general. It'll probably go down craig's road.

And the Bed stays.

So that is actually the majority of my stuff. There you go...so It'll be a minor purge.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Now on the wishlist

Facet

I love those things.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Funny as Hell

Telemarketer getting pranked

=-D

Parties are easy.

And Fun

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Oh Sweet Jesus YES!

Rain all week. It's about damn time!

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

What Am I Paying You For?

I came home from Microsoft and went to the advisor and said "I told people I am graduating in December...Make that happen". She clickity clacked on the computer, sucked on her teeth, looked at me and said "Nope...not happening".

As a handful of girls and one very frustrated starcraft player know, I am not one to give up. So I went to another advisor. The advisor of all advisors. Judith Quinney. I told her the same thing and she said "done". After an almost inappropriate show of prowess with a degree plan I found myself well on my way to being graduated.

But believe me when I tell you that I can afford no failures these last few semesters. I've done extraordinarily well so far.

This last semester, though, concern for the future once again reared it's ugly head. Two of my classes I wouldn't care about even without the healthy dose of senioritis Amazon issued me along with the signing bonus: History and Government....and Oceanography.

Procrastination is like masturbation: Fun until you realize you've fucked yourself. I don't even go to these classes. Bad thing? No because they give me the test questions before the test and don't assign homework. 1 night with the review sheet and wikipedia and I stand completely ready for these tests.

So what...am I just paying these professors a metric ass-load of money for my damn health? One is a body with a tape recorder stuck to it's drool soaked chin and the ther one, as I've mentioned, seems mildly retarded. It's some bullshit.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

PHEAR!

If the nuke the Koreans have blew up Dobie

It's actually a really small nuke. The American and Russian nukes take out Far West as well.

It's interesting.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Evolution

Women evolved to bring life to the world. They carry children, nuture them, and make them whole over 9 months and the subsequent years.

Men evolved to have their orgasm necessary for procreation.


Men win evolution.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Warning

Austin, Dave, Jim, Joe, Dylan, Dan, Tarang and all others whose *-fu I respect:

When something as cool as Ruby on rails pops up, you MAKE me learn it rather than put it off.

That is all

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Actual Plug

Sarah's officially selling candles. Go buy one.

You can't get a "Night Cap" because I have the only one...ever. You'll have to settle for "Forest Green" as described below. Keep an eye on ebay though, I'll be selling my one and only Night Cap soon as demand skyrockets.

Candles!

Why are you reading this part? You should have clicked away from this entry a whole sentence ago. If you insist on reading further do me a favor and find bugs and report them.

-A

-EDIT-
I just want to expound on how special I and my Night Cap candle are. I don't want to say I should have my name etched into the Moon or anything, but I wouldn't say no if the world's people offered.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Pig Associates

There was a fatwa issued on the Pope's head.

Seriously? Even though I know the uselessness of it all a part of me burns for a good old-fashioned overt crusade. I'm not even Catholic, but while aloud I would decry the occasion, part of me would be behind a papal command to take fucking antioch and beyond.


*sigh*

Monday, October 02, 2006

Forest Green

Remember when you were young and you found yourself in the midst of a youthful dalliance through a lush pine forest? Do you fondly recall the intoxicating aroma of your mother's mop after an afternoon of cleaning the kitchen? Have you, like myself, often regaled your village's youth with stories of changing them, perhaps playfully referring to the process as "poopy diapering"?

If you answered yes to these questions ask yourself , sir or ma'dam, what value you would place on combining these fond memories or the ability to share them with family and loved ones who live afar. If you're like me this question will break your heart and make contrite your spirit. You will fall to your knees and weep openly as you mourn the unfelt loss of all those around you who do not, cannot know the swell of emotion these memories unceasingly bring. You will consider ending your life and the lives of all those around you to bring and end to this sordid state of affairs.

But do not for there this way comes a warm glow of hope. [unnamed company] has developed a process to extract the essences of these wonderful things and compact them in candle form. "Forest Green", when lit, brings to the immediate area the aroma of an matronly washerwoman changing a child's diaper in a pine forest.

So do not walk, run to your nearest computer terminal (Likely the one you're reading this on) and purchase this candle before the burden of knowledge unshared crushes your soul.