Monday, January 30, 2006

P.s. Boobies

It seems that every time we have a gathering at our apartment our guests are compelled to take it upon themeselves to write various things on our whiteboards. Last time we wound up with some comments about vaginas being awesome, butthole pleasures, and 1 very long explanation as to how to get to my room and whether or not those directions were meant for the ladies or the gentlemen. This time around we have "Kelsey", "Tites and Buttes", and "My God is bigger than your God" followed by, in different handwriting, "My God's followers will kill your God's followers". The last two being next to a very intricate set of glyphs.

I dunno why, it all makes me happy.

My favorite "Classic" mariachi song is "Volver, Volver". It is my favorite because you absolutely do not have to be able to sing to belt that mutha out. The music is mournful and the lyrics themselves are sad, if not a bit hopeful. It could also be my favorite because of Luis and Flavio Salazar. They were singing it for school talent shows since 3rd grade and I always was envious of their being on stage while I was not. Anyway, I am looking for sheet music so I can play it on piano.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

I've just been informed I passed Tsugaru, the apple mix, last night whilst very very drunk. That makes me a level 4 DDR Zen Master. =-D

Guh

We had a party last night. I enjoyed myself. Jay offered his hookah again and we took him up and it was tasty. Everyone that I cared to share my birthday with made it and then some. I do enjoy the parties but I think I enjoy the cleaning up the next afternoon better. You groan to consciousness and find yourself not in the apartment you so meticulously put together but in a beer bottle strewn wasteland, sometimes with bodies in various corners. After finding your pants you dip in and begin the long process of cleaning up. And as you go this wasteland is retransformed to your beloved apartment.

And when it is all done, you can look at something small that you accomplished.=-D

Also Comedy central is doing a standup-a-thon. I shall be in my living room the rest of the afternoon.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Mischief: My Chief Export

I'm sitting in Tazza right now, with my laptop. Moments ago I was sitting in Tazza with my book and just before that I was sitting in Tazza with nothing but a bewildered smile on my face. Soon, I will be sitting elsewhere in Tazza.

Why is this interesting? Because someone is filming a movie scene in Tazza right now and I am square in background, fucking with their continuity. I would kill for a fake mustache right now.

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

10 Year Plan

It's settled, before I turn 3o I wil be a holder of a helicoptor pilot's license. Then I will quit this world and make my living flying rich bastards from place to place. At this time I will also adapt a heavy spanish accent and have my charters refer to me as "Pecos". Then, after I have logged enough hours, I will retire from the jet setting world of private charters, buy a small craft, name it "Juan in a Million", take it down to a tropical island and fly tours for tourists, sleeping with as many of them as is humanly possible. I will have the tourists refer to me as "Jackalope Bill" or "Stone". I will also spend my spare time running a small tamale/fried banana stand. I will never again wear pants or shoes, opting for the more breezy shorts and sandals. And when the revolution comes, my tribe will have an air force. While serving in this air force I will be known as "Solid Snake" which is lame and not creative now, but in the post apocalyptic caribbean no one will have played Metal Gear.

Oh Snap

13:18
(13:18:12) Lizdoll101: sleepy....sleepy
(13:18:12) Mipba : Sorry, I ran out for a bit!
(13:18:13) Lizdoll101 : class be back later
13:23


- It looks like our IM bots had an away message conversation, thats weird like furby's.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Stream of Consciousness

I'm in a pipe club with the dirtiest old men I've ever encountered. "Salud y Pesetas, veintecinco mujeres y cincuenta tetas". Cheese, wine, tabacco, cradle robbing and, well, more wine. I'm not usually a big fan of wine but dude brings in some stuff I actually enjoy. Also I think I am gonna stock gouda in my fridge. It seems like a reasonably versatile form of curdled milk, it could go with crackers, or tabacco, or double stuff oreos. Speaking of which I recently, while preparing a legitamite dinner, ate milk and cookies and actually /ruined my appetite/. I have no regrets! Well I have plenty of regrets but none of them are related to cookies, with the notable exception letting a girlfriend think I enjoyed her cookies when in fact I didn't. I damned myself to much deceptive cookie-motivated excitement. Fortunately I am a skilled actor and a wonderfully talented bullshitter. I will marry the first girl to make me a good lemon merangue pie, even the first girl to explain to me how to spell merangue. The quickest way to a man's heart is chuck norris' fists. Someone was once told that I am "more well read than I look". How the hell is that to be taken, I settled for my looking extraordinarily well read and in reality being more than extraordinarily well read. Speaking of reading, Luke 2:16 says the Sheperds came with haste to view the baby Jesus. Does anyone else picture "haste" as some sort of dish that they brought? "Hi, we're the sheperds and brought some haste." Then do you picture them feeling down because one of the Magi brought Gold?. Which is better? Making something for the Baby Jesus or just grabbing some gold from your vault? I would make haste for the Baby Jesus, or at least his parent's, assuming they aren't busy with that whole "Virgin" hold no longer over their heads. Do you suppose Joseph ever said "thats my boy!" when JC was playing cricket, or whatever Jewish boys in Jerausalem played? Didn't the colonials believe themselves to be British? What would you think if some dude drove down the street screaming "The Texans are coming!" You'd think football team, eh? Or maybe those Republic of Texas nuts, thats why I own guns, to shoot Texans.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Four Things

Stole this from Mike:

Four Jobs I've Had:
1. Waiter
2. Research Assistant
3. Magician
4. Pizza Delivery

Four Places I have lived
1. Austin, Texas
2. Houston, Texas
3. Kingsville, Texas
4. Redmond, Wa

Four Places I've been on Vacation
1. Orlando Florida
2. Fuck, we were poor, back off!

Four Websites I visit Daily
1. Gmail
2. news.google.com
3. BoingBoing
4. Bloglines.com

Four Foods I Like
1. Carne Guisada
2. Pasta!
3. Freeb!rds
4. Buddha's Delight (without squash)

Good Times, Come on?

Many normal things, when taken out of context, seem asburd and inappropriate. Example: After wrestling with an ACS server for hours on hours I finally got my task done. As a means of celebrating I, like anyone else would, began to dry hump the server and call it my bitch, in a very manly manner.

Of course, the folks walking by office construed this as odd and now avoid me...

Strong Bad!

I was a waiter. Waiting was my prefered unskilled job when I needed money to fulfill my luxurious lifestyle of eating and rent. Nowadays I am leveraging my skills of a programmer to great effect and can actually afford a little deluxe. Waiting, however, was the birthplace of many a story that I enjoy telling every now and then.

For instance, one day I and a few fellow waiters at Applebees went down to Chili's in full on uniforms. Right now you're thinking this is going to end in a rumble and a few knifings, or at least an upbeat showtune dilineating our differences and why we should celebrate them, or both. You're wrong though, we just went there for a nice dinner with coworkers after our double. We told the staff there that we had a birthday in our midst and would like a complimentary dessert but that since we were waiters we knew well the hated humiliation of singing to a customer and they were welcome to forego it. After receiving the dessert, we walked across the restaurant, chose a random victim and gathered around her with the dessert and sang our Applebee's birthday song. We were kicked out and our manager was informed of our indescretion.

But, that lady has a story to tell for the rest of her life! =-D

Google To Government: Fuck You

http://www.nydailynews.com/front/story/384348p-326120c.html

I propose we all do a daily search for "I love terrorists" and then have a big get together at gitmo, I'll bring the guac.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Tia Gabriela

My Tia passed away tonight. I didn't even know she was ill until today, I was forwarded all the emails the family list recieved by my Mother. She's survived by Tio Alvaro and my primo Tlaloc. She was from Germany and was a really sweet lady when we were younger. Pray to whatever Gods you have for her family.

Monday, January 16, 2006

This Deserves Blogging

Dave can't touch type! To use another's words, that is redonkoulous! A computer scientist of non-trivial repute lacking the ability to type that a retarded 12 year old has nowadays. I am shamed to know him and ask permission to end my own life.

It started me thinking about my typing. I can touch type everything but the FX keys greater than F6 and those weird printscrn/scroll lock/pause keys. Lets make that the standard, eh? I'm calling UTCS's admissions right now. I figure my ability to touch type the numbers and F keys stem from using Vi for so long, so everyone should definitely use Vi, as a furthering of self.

His defense is his late entry into the world of consistent typing, circa late high school. I guess I can accept that. I, like most of you, began my life of touch typing during the late 80's/early 90's period of MUDDs on various bbs's (TAMUK, anybody?) and issuing commands to MSDOS. So technically we all have a good decade of typing on him.

Duality/School

I've spent large parts of the last two years in both Austin and Seattle. That fact isn't extraordinarily interesting standing isolated, but there are consequences arising that I think are interesting. A good example is my mind's inability to seperate the assets available to me in each city. Just yesterday I suggested, to blinking visages of incomprehension, eating at Yummy Teriyaki and going camping in the mountains. If you've ever explored the open highways of Texas you realize the absurdity of mountain camping in a terrain flatter than a oboe. I also remember a couple of times considering going tubing while in Seattle, another humerous non-sequiter. My devotions thus rent in twain, I stoicly continue life, reconciliation forever out of reach.

The weather is offering a helping hand, however. Where Seattle was cold and solidly cloudly and obstinately dark and forever raining, Austin is warm, and clear skys rain down sun all day long. To be perfectly honest I am not sure which condition I prefer, Seattle's nuclear winter or Austin's drought, but they are starkly different and shove a wedge in my confusion.

School starts tommorrow woo. This semester and any following it will bear no similarities to any of my previous semesters. I've cut off entirely all obligations I've held for so long and plan to work my hardest at not acquiring anymore. I am a self serving creature for the next year or so. I am and will be completely self involved until further notice. That's not to say you shouldn't call a brah if you need help moving or, I dunno, a falafel; but the generic background of all my thoughts will be me. I'm very excited because I love myself =-D.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Useless

Yay Lost. They came back swinging and knocked me out =-D. Also I think I invented a stir fry sauce, or rather, I can remember the ingredients I used and might be able to repeat the process. It was a little heavy on the ginger, but saving that it was a pretty damn good concoction. I might even keep it a secret until I am lying on my death bed and whisper it to my grand-daughter-in-law lovingly, thus ending years of estrangement from my grandson that began when I refused to tell his fiancee the recipe for his favorite stir fry sauce, pushing a wedge between them that took years to reconcile. It's /that/ good. I love cooking.

Also, I'm just going to say it, this apartment is the shit. We've broken numerous codes and tenets of our lease with our little projects, but they all ended without the ultimate distruction of the complex and now our apartment is more suited to our needs. Oh, and there is most definitely more to come. We's planning on painting this bitch; we just need someone with taste to tell us what colors to paint where. Oh, and I want to get a plant =-D.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Interview with a Vampyre (<--ten points if you get the reference)

At the behest of a friend I picked up Anne Rice yesterday. I'm only a third through the book and I'll hold verdict for when I have finished the whole thing, but I am enjoying the simple act of reading a novel for pleasure. It has been a little over a month since the last time I sat down for a good, bound yarn. A month doesn't seem like very long now that I write it down but I found that I did, in fact, miss it. Good books, hell even mediocre books, are the only things that can hold my attention for long periods of time, outside of coding that is. Even more pleasurable with my new pipe.


Sidebar: I did manage to guess Tarang's gift to me. While talking to him about it he slipped up and mentioned a blog post of mine that discusses what I wanted for Christmas. So I looked at the list again and narrowed it down to what I thought he might get me. Either a knife, a humidor, or a pipe. Then, after furthur rumination I decided that the only one of those three he would call Austin for advice for was the pipe. This was about the time I made my last post about this. So I decided to smoke Austin out by threatening to purchase my own pipe. His response was any excuse he could grapple at to not go to the Tabacco shop, which sealed the deal because if he didn't think Tarang was getting me one we would have run out right then and there. He didn't break, though, until I was actually at the tabacco shop holding a pipe I was planning on purchasing. With Tarang's approval, I was informed officially that a pipe was on the way.

It turned out to be a really nice pipe as well. It came with 2 stems, the longer, more Gandalf-like being my favored. I've gotten many comments on it at various parties, get-togethers, gala events. So in the end, though he is rude, arrogant, and a touch racist, Tarang gives good presents and as such is to be valued as a friend.

Friday, January 06, 2006

I've Said It Before

I swear to you, the moment they call for pilgrims to Mars I will have my bags packed. Whether I die in the space age's Roanoke or my seed enjoys the wealth of a Mayflower descendent don't make me no nevermind. I don't even require a tech job, I'd be happy to run a small cantina for the workers in whatever industry we find has a future on Martian soil. Hell, I could even start the first Martian brewery. I'm sure I can find a way to make grow hops there. "But Alfonso, there won't be many ladies up there!" What has two thumbs and has been a computer scientist for 5 years? This guy.

Hell, maybe I'll take one with me and we could be that friendly old couple that regales everyone with tales of the first days of the Colony. Of course I'll probably be salty and rough from a lifetime of work by then.

The possibilities are infinite. Care to join me?

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Hook 'Em

The obligatory we just won the national championship post: I screamed so hard I think I had a minor aneurysm in the middle of the fourth quarter. My voice is nearly completely lost and someone stepped on my foot when we got that last touchdown. I also might have accidentally scooped up 3 or 4 people in a hug and shook them until their ears bleed...

Explosive Lennyesque outbursts aside, it was a fantastic game.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Home For The Holidays

I am no longer Homeless =-D. The Move was rough since it came the day after Dylan's traditionally celebrated 21stBirthday. I wound up, through circumstances beyond my control conspiring against me, with a 17 foot U-Haul truck for the move. It was an actual 19 feet or so since the hood doesn't count in their measurements. Strangely enough I was much more uncomfortable and nervous driving that truck than hauling a trailer behind my dad's truck. The be sure I have much more experience pulling a trailer but the U-Haul, in theory, was much easier to maneuver. Either way, with the much appreciated help of Tarang and Austin, we managed to get that truck around town to pick up our various belongings and haul them to Far West. At 9:50PM Friday the 30th of December 2006 we had moved into our new home, just in time for the New Year, Just in time for the New Years eve party we had planned long before actually moving in.

I don't know if anyone has ever tried to sandwich a full day of heavy lifting with 2 full nights of heavy drinking, but I don't suggest it. I was fully drained of bodily energy when the folks started to gather at our place, but Tarang insisted I get plastered since he hadn't ever seen me "Story Drunk". So I dug deep, drug myself off my bed and meandered into the ever more crowded common area. I was invigorated by the pleasant number of lovely young ladies to feast my eyes on, and I did wind up "Story Drunk" by midnight. It was a fun night. I've been told we managed to squeeze 30+ folks in our tiny little apartment. Also, we attracted some of our neighbors in and got good and buddy-buddy with some of them. Our downstairs neighbor did come up to complain at some point but he/she was very p0lite, didn't call the Police and we did quiet down. So all in all our neighbors seem cool. Oh, and we had a /ton/ of redheads. I thought I was talking to the same one all night but it turns out I switched twice and never realized it. In my defense, though, folks say they look similar.

The next day we began the construction of all our new furniture, the purchasing of even more furniture and the unpacking of all those damn b0xes. Our network topology has been designed but isn't nearly physically implemented. I'm geeking out on the fact that we've already physically altered the apartment in permanent and neat ways for our network. I'm hoping to get the network run and setup this afternoon since tommorrow Roadrunner is coming to install our inter-web-tron. Yesterday Dylan got our sound system up and running, the speakers still need to be hung, but Buffy sounds fantastic coming out of those tweeters and woofers. Ideally, by tommorrow evening the apartment will be completely unpacked and setup. Only then can I go get my new hamster.