Concerts

Why the charade? We know you are going to 'encore', why else would the curtain sill be up and houselights still down?. You know you are going to 'encore' too. You have to know since half of your set list is in the 'encore'. Still you insist on walking off-stage and waiting until your hidden applause-0-meter redlines.

Look, buddy, we bought the damn ticket and probably a t-shirt or 2. You shouldn't require anything more from us to hear your entire set, leastwise thunderous applause when you've only played new songs so far and I came to hear the songs I can sing along to.

Because at the end of the day, good troubadour, we aren't cheering because you rocked the house, or changed our lives, we are cheering because if we don't you might not play Istanbul. We aren't begging for more, we're begging for what came for in the first place.

2 Things

1. The spandex bunny at my gym told me I look like I've lost some weight. I've chosen to believe she wants me rather than accept that she is paid to say things of that sort. It was a good choice.

2. I gave blood today and the lady told me I am as healthy as a horse as far as blood pressure and heart-rate are concerned (128/85 and 56 bpm respectively). Being compared to a horse is neat. Also, there is no lack of iron in my blood apparently.

Good day, body image wise.

You Know What I Hate?

When people put "thanks" in their automatic email signature. Emails only occasionally end in gratitude. One day that person will send an email that ends:

"..sister so many times I got treated for dehydration and exhaustion. So fuck you; it is my fondest wish that when you die, hopefully painfully at the hands of an enemy, you will burn in hell for all eternity and that my rapture will consist of a front row seat to your agony. I cannot imagine a worse person existing in the whole of human history.

Thx!
-Alfonso Lopez"

So don't do that. It bugs me.

You'll Never See a Dissatisfied SCV

Yesterday Austin and I volunteered with the BBTC to do some trail building out at Tiger Mountain. Out of an impressive group of 60 a smaller group of 10 or so, including us, went to the highest, and gnarliest, trail to build a "water stop". When finished this construct of ours would push flowing water off the trail and toward the tributaries nearby, thereby eliminating sitting water on the trail. With our hands and wits alone, we command mighty rivers.

If you have never built a water stop (and why would you?) the process consists of the movement of ponderous rock from diaspora to one point in the middle of an active mountain bike trail. Several of the rocks required 4 men to life and move. It was exhausting. After collecting 25-30 of these rocks you shovel out a 6'x4' pit to put them in. After spending hours carefully placing these constituent rocks in their proper place, you fill gaps with smaller and smaller rocks, eventually burying all but the largest rock completely in dirt. The end result looks like nothing more than a 6 inch drop in the trail that is fun to jump off of, a passing biker would give it perhaps a fleeting half-second of thought.

Still, the trail will survive that biker and thousands more because of the 'armoring' we provided. The movement of a few tons of rock over 7 hours by a crew of 10 was important if not noticeable.

We make extensive use of those trials and it gave me the warm fuzzies to give a little back. Also now I have this sense of part ownership of the Preston RR Trail. I don't know what effect it will have but it is there and feels as though it might prove profound one day. If you ever join us on Preston rest assured that we will stop so that I might show you the rock, where we got the rock, and why the rock is awesome.

Along with my warm fuzzies comes a sandwich, two oatmeal cookies, a muffin, a 16oz can of Coke and a really nice tech shirt from the fine folks are REI. This shirt is /really/ nice! It's one of those fancy "I-work-out-and-have-money-so-my-shirt-is-not-cotton" shirts. I've always wanted one. It says "Get Dirty" on the back and the front has some other stuff including the REI insignia. Also it is green and lets face it people, I pop in green.

Those warm fuzzies came at a high, sinister cost. I hurt all over. I pulled something in my knee, stretched my fingers to exhaustion, made sore my back, and in an event that is very hard to put into words I threw a tree at myself, bruising my right quad severely. These ingredient aches are mounted with a buerre of general muscle pain, simmered, and brought to an exquisite finish that kept me out of the gym today. At this point my body is merely a vehicle to punish me for poor decision making. It is a pain that only a day of hard labor can bring and it is wonderful.

It was also nice to finally get a toe into the 'Community'. I gotta tell you, MTBers are a solid set of folk. Not only did 60 folks come to give a Sunday to trail work, but with almost no exception every biker that passed while we were working thanked us for the work, some even volunteered to be guinea pigs.

I'll definitely be doing more of these.

I lack a film crew

I lack a film crew. So I'll just jot down my idea for a fun little short:

**Black screen with the words "What actually happened".

**This video is shown

**Another black screen with the words "What the media would appreciate you believing"

**Begin our re-enactment

**Camera is on John Kerry finishing an answer

Kerry: And so while media depictions might have leaned otherwise, I have never actually said that Greedo shot first. *points to his left* Yes sir, go ahead

**Cut to Andrew Meyer at the mic. He is wearing a tweed jacket and opening a pair of reading glasses to place on his nose. He has a dog eared copy of some book. The audience is on the verge of a swoon at the sight of their hero.

Meyer: Thank you, Mr. Senator. I all appreciate your taking time to visit us. As we are a little short on time I'll be brief. I am holding a book that discusses in detail the many instances of likely fraud during the 2004 election. Fraud that, if properly fought, held possibilities to retake the election you rightfully won, in a popular sense. How do you respond to accusations of collusion between you and your opponent *Kerry clears his throat with a conspiratorial look at security, who acknowledge with a nod and move off camera, cut back to meyer*, accusations based on your possibly belonging to the same secret *Ding, the timer goes off* society?

**Just as the audience over eyer begins to applause the well thought-out and not in any way crazy question two wired darts hit meyer in his face. Wait a beat so meyer can look confused at first. Then his face is suddenly warped in a grimace of pain as the sounds of millions of volts hit the air. He screams and drops, falling off camera. Cut to a view as seen from Meyer's position, looking up at a huge security guard holding his tazer gun with both hands and laughing maniacally. The strobing light of the shocks splashing across his face a la Frankenstein. You can hear the almost inhuman howls of pain coming from Meyer.

**Eventually the tazer battery runs out or something and after a few erratic spurts of voltage, it is dead. After shaking the gun near his ear the guard is satisfied that it is dead. He gets a look of fear on his face as he looks at meyer writhing on the ground, maybe he takes a step or two back.

Meyer: Please stop, I'll go peacefully.

Security Guard (To his radio, in a fearful timber): I need back up!

**Back up arrives in the form of 10 more burly men. All security guards look to Kerry for instructions. Kerry tacitly instructs the guards with a sinister nod. The guards all pull out their billy clubs and march toward Meyer

Meyer: You don't need t.....

Some Guard: SHUT THE FUCK UP JEW FAG!

Some Other Guard: Yeah! Stand up and take your Justice!

**They beat him savagely for a bit then leave him and walk out slapping each other on the ass and commenting on how 'extreme' that was.

-------
It could use some work. I think it's funny.

Wow, thats close to 15%

A while back I set myself a milestone. At 250lbs, I said to myself, I will finally break down and buy a road bike. It was easy to say when I weighed 290+ lbs because, like graduation or adulthood, it seemed like a milestone that would merely loom in a noncommittal way.

So today I weighed in at 254 after lunch. Whats more, today is a basketball day so with dehydration I will surely dip below 250 (Yeah, when you're my size these number are huge. 2 hours of basektball costs me 4+lbs in sweat and roughly 2,600 calories...jesus I don't even want to discuss the damage to my knees). Like a canary basketball day warns me of things to come. The 'official' weight won't be below 250 for a bit now but still I must study up on road bikes, all my experience coming from the MTB...milieu.

Realization 1: Road bikes are fucking expensive!

Realization 2: No they're not! Because I can get a used one. Since I enjoy working on bikes anything I would need to do to it would be a treat.

Realization 3: Actually, even used they are pretty damn pricey.

Realization 4: I don't think I particularly like road bikers. I went out with the others to do the burke-gilman trail and when I had to stop to pull a link out of my chain only 1 person in 15 minutes asked if I was ok or offered help. Mountain bikers are much more prone to fits of charity I guess. I reckon it has to do with the high likelihood that they will soon be fixing a broken bike as well.

Realization 5: I do like road biking. It fits my slow-burning metabolism and wandering mind.

So the goal for now is to do the Seattle to Portland ride next year. Hopefully in 2 years I'll be ready for the Texas 4000. Wee

Rigidity

The toll Eco demands to see his denouement is high indeed. I've only read "Name of the Rose" and half of "Focaults Pendulum" so far but I believe I've unlocked his dirty tactic.

He begins by establishing some mystery, a murder, a disappearance, a carrot to lure you whichever way he desires. You're fascinated in fewer that 2 short chapters and so decide to see the book through.

Then you're made to sit through a volume of intellectual masturbation. If you were to persevere you would be rewarded not only by a good ending, but by a sense of victory. A victory that might seem Pyhrric when you consider the ruins of your psyche and whole belief system.

Now, like regular masturbation I have nothing against intellectual masturbation. However also like the former I do not enjoy it when the latter is performed by old Italian men for hours on end in my bedroom.

Sidebar: I like his accusations of the publishing industry.

SideSideBar: If "yes, but is it infinite enough?" or "I'm a mathematician, I can't be bothered with numbers" are funny to you, watch this.