If I Ever Pitch a Movie

It will be this...verbatim.

http://askaninja.com/moviepitch

No Spoilers, in case you care.

Ideally this will be the last thing I write about Harry Potter, the humiliation in posterity complete already. Even now, though, I know that should some grandchild get his greasy hands on this...journal of mine and choose to judge me I will defend myself aggressively and with no dearth of expletives involving twinkles in my daughter's eye, stains on my sons bed, and bumps on my ass. The child will cry.

At the bookstore, with 30 minutes until release but 2 hours until the much benighted 'purple section' of that 'line' made it to the cash register we waited, our purple wristbands some how entirely failing to gleam. Perhaps they knew that until all the 'pinks' and 'yellows' and even 'reds' had their fill they would be made to stand outside looking in at scenes of bourgois excess while raindrops almost manage to camouflage the tears. Perhaps a lone violin sobs a tragic tune.

Still the wait was over at some point and I, along with a handful of fellows in arms, had my copy of the only book I've waited 7 years for. Let me rephrase that so you might take the journey with me. I had, in my hand, the only /thing/ that I've ever waited 7 years for. In my entire life. At one point I actually stared longingly at it, fingers that refused to believe it was real grazing delicately over it's face.

To say I read it would be a gross misinterpretation of what happened. What I did was much more vulgar, even lustful, absolutely some form of sin. The pages of that book were victimized, robbed of some purity as my hungry eyes rent the story from them. They shuddered with each unwelcome turn.

It was Excellent. The story dragged me into every emotional realm it could. Many times I said aloud "I can't wait to see Rickman play this scene" or something similar. While my tastes are much darker than she was willing to take the book the ending was perfect in it's own way. I closed the back cover with a satisfaction that almost fills the hole excited expectation left. Bravo.

Now I return to reading 'real' books. Most ironically, I am in an 'Umberto Eco Phase'.

People Suck

I love Harry Potter. The depth and consistency I am willing to discuss the books would bore you. With the release of the final tome so eminent you could imagine my excitement.

With great obsession comes great burden, though, because between now and Friday various places on the internet are going to have spoilers posted by some jackass that thinks it's funny. So I am embargoing all user-posted news sites. Particularly Digg, Reddit, and Fark.

My days have become very boring.

OH, also I am carrying around a can of spray paint. So if someone thinks it's cute to wear a t-shirt with a spoiler like during book 6 I'll be ready to peta their ass.

I hate people.

[sic]

It is 8:16am right now and since waking up I have had a shot of rum. Budding alchoholism? Sure, but more than that I had a throat infection and completely lost my voice this morning. So at the suggestion of Micah I sipped a shot of hot rum (see: dylan) with a splash of butter. It sounds gross but it made my throat feel a thousand times better and I even got a little vocal range back.

So I highly suggest the hot shot of buttered rum.

Caveat: I did have a cup of tea before the rum.

I Just Forget Sometimes

Shopping at Amazon has completely spoiled me to the exclusion of other shopping experiences. So much so that a major reason for my wanting a smart phone is so I can order items on amazon while I am in a retail store, holding those items.

Thats right.

Also, I can't stand waiting more than 2 days for shipping. There is this item, a pot and pan cleaner, that Amazon only offers from a merchant who has the audacity to charge 9$ for 5-7 day shipping! I decided to just not get it rather than wait.

Yay Amazon =-D.

I think that carrot thing is true

I enjoy the interwebcom. Often I'll read various news sites and blogs. I also discuss various news points with friends, coworkers, people on the bus. There's something I need to get off my chest:

Correlation /DOES/ imply causation damnit! It might be a bit of semantic nit-picking but implication is a suggestion of arguable strength and moreover that suggestion is clearly being made by whatever correlation you have noticed. To say correlation implies causation is in no way attempting to establish some syllogistic necessity of the B from the A.

If you can accept that, and if you can't do not tell me because I will think much less of you, then it's very clear that correlation implies causation, if only weakly.

"Everyone who eats carrots dies." The implication here is very weak, but, even as an exercise in degenerate cases, exists.

The more salient correlations are salient precisely because of that implication and criticizing a citation merely on the grounds that it is correlation is a very foolish thing to do.

So foolish, in fact, that I just realized I don't believe anyone actually places any faith in that strategy. They employ it to cast away some damning evidence against their stance.

Anyway...people are dumb.

95%

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19552808/

I'm worthy of citizenship! The only question I missed was the one asking about a specific immigration form, so I am counting my score as a 100%.

Bring it fuckers!