Cheapy Post

I was in the middle of a long, winding, rhetorically complex retelling of "The Pumpkin Incident" when I realized the story ends very anti-climactically and so isn't very good. So I erased all 7 paragraphs and opted for this easy-out:

5 Things About Me
1. I like Miller Lite and accept all shame associated with that fact
2. I read to escape loneliness
3. I tell jokes to hide insecurity
4. A King's ransom for an end to my bitterness.
5. No one likes a sad clown.