Metro

A month ago I, in my infinite generosity and philanthropy, gave blood to the good folks ad MD Anderson Cancer research. Reveling in the knowledge that I had just saved lives and the knowledge that I was about to consume the most deserved peanut butter cheese cracker a human being could possibly dream of obtaining I walked. I needed a place to pop a squat for the next hour or so while my body dealt the issue of missing a couple of pints of blood. I chose, poorly, Metro.

I walked in light-headed and sat down to enjoy my peanut butter cheese cracker. My higher-cognitive functions didn't really want to fire but I enjoyed a childish glee when I set to open the peanut butter cheese cracker. That was when the demented harpy that runs the place decided to kick me out for having outside food. I explained to her, calmly, that I had just given blood and that she was a miserly little bitch whose whore of a mother shouldn't have ever brought a child into this world after laying with beelzebub. She didn't take it well.

Now today, for reasons I can't even imagine, I went back. I just like couches and the smell of coffee. I sat down and began to read the interspherewebcomtronnet. About 2 minutes in I once again smelled the putrid oder of filthy greed and disdain. Bitch-tits McGee comes up and says "if you're using the internet you should purchase something". An increasingly less reasonable demand from a the madam of a coffee house on fucking campus but I relented and offered to purchase a cold and delicious IBC root beer.

1.50. I offer my credit card and she points sharply at her sign that says "Cash Only". I wash shocked -- SHOCKED! Now, if you're able to go back in time to get one of those signs from the 80's you should be rich enough to live without owning the most pinche coffee house in existence. I just left.

Thats not completely true. I asked her what generation she thought she was serving and how many among them did she think used cash regularly. I also asked if she had any idea how absurd she was backdropped by campus culture. I don't think I put it that elegantly at the time, but the idea come forth. She started talking but all I could make out was "I'm a selfish bitch who ruined this establishment. I think I am new agey and hip but in reality I am just another vagina made dusty by disuse. Take solace in my inability masked as unwillingness to procreate." Then I just left.

I hate metro. And I would enjoy it if you hated metro too.

TAZZA FOR LIFE BRAH!


Sidebar: I still havn't had my root beer and I /REALLY/ want one now. You go to hell bitch-tits! You go to hell and you DIE!