I've Been Outed!

I am on what I'll call a "Don't ask don't tell" basis with my family about what I'll call my lifestyle. Sure I smoke, drink, take intraveinous drugs and have unprotected sex with a steady line of low-cost high-mileage hookers, and sure my family is generally aware I am no longer the paragon of Mormon masculinity, but we've never bothered to reconcile that. My dad was the first to really clue in and moved from the "not till you're married" talk to the "if she gets pregnant, you're raising it" talk, but for the most part we're running on no-contact silence.

Until my dearest Sarah mistakenly outs me to my sister. Sarah was making us muffins at the time so of course she is instantly forgiven, but at one point she mistook "care for a glass of milk?" for "would you care if I smoked?". Now, while I smoke a pipe on a semi-regular basis, she had only the previous night seen me smoke a cigarette. When I get drunk my oral fixation becomes my personality in whole and I tend to grab at cigarettes when offered. So she responds "you don't smoke, except for when you are drunk" within earshot of my sister.

Now I don't care even nominally. I've always accepted that I would never deny anything but then conveniently not offer any information without being compelled. But now my sister and brother-in-law know. They seemed to take it in stride, it's roughly equivalent to when Elton John came out. Duh...


PS. I don't actually take intra-veinous drugs and can't afford even the cheapest hookers.