Next Weekend?

In the past I have taken great pains and incurred considerable cost to enjoy the privilege of strapping planks to and hurling my body towards the nearest jut of rock that lies downhill. Whether I was originally drawn toward the sport as a means of maximizing the odds I achieve the 'splits' in an unsolicited manner or some other facet was more appealing I do not know. What I do know is that maintaining my balance on those damn skis proved more difficult than nailing jello to a wall.

It would seem that immediately after developing a comfort on skis that deeply held part of my psyche that screams for death arrested control of my consciousness just long enough to strap both my feet into a single plank.

It would be dishonest to complain. I can't help but love any activity that punishes failure with a thorough and unrelenting pain. The aches and bruises and chipped teeth function as badges of honor, as penance happily paid for the thrill of achievement.

But I am dishonest: Snowboarding did things to my body. Horrible things. Things I wouldn't enjoy even in a sexual context. In this sport's creator you'll find a viscous dark so pure it would sear your retinas blind.

This morning I could have liked nothing more than to stand neck-deep in a tub of Bengay.

So now I am hopped up on Aleve and smothered in a 2 inch layer of icy hot. And coding =-D.