Yes, you are too

I'm suiting up to get back into the game. After a catastrophe that left my life in the worst shambles I've experienced so far (much thanks to the family for picking me up, dusting me off and chocking me on my chin) "suiting up" involves hardening my heart, dying inside and wallowing in a misogynistic pool whose calm surface belies a turbid downward current.

I got that part done. I hate women so much by this point that I'm almost guaranteed they'll fall for me left and right, remember, women are stupid and self-destructive. I still love my mom though, and my sister.

The other part of suiting up involves getting into some facsimile of 'shape'. Because even their stupidity and self-destructiveness can't overcome their shallowness. Thats not really a commentary on women, everyone is shallow, even the fugly.

Also, now that I shave my head I have an even more vested interest in being thin.

So I endeavor to drop a lot of weight. It's actually really easy because as it turns out my life is plenty active and to maintain my ideal weight I should be eating over 3000 calories a day, 2000 of which merely keeps me alive and warm. So really all I had to do was start the calorie counting (which is math, and thats fun). I already play a lot of basketball and bike fairly often, but just for kicks I threw in a daily lunchtime run.

Two weeks and a bit of willpower later I dropped 10lbs. I always read that 1-2 lbs a week was how much you could healthfully lose and so I decided I must have been doing something wrong. I went to talk to one of those trainers at my gym and ask him about it. He said that, and George said this too, healthy weight loss is really defined as a percentage of your size and that maybe that was a little fast but I should be ok.

So I'm sticking to my plan. I'm feeling pretty good right now because i have an old pair of pants back in rotation. The crux of my 'plan' is this bathroom scale I got. It gives my weight to the nearest tenth of a pound. That way I can always see what progress (generally after bball) or regress (Sasqatch music festival...fried /everything/) I am making on a daily basis, even if it's minute. So at any point you can ask me how much I weigh and I'll be able to tell you to a tenth of a pound. I usually check when I wake up and before I go to bed and whenever I stub my toe on the damn thing.

Sidebar: Diet Coke is a miracle of modern science. I refuse to drink it because it must be a carcinogen or radioactive or laced with mind control drugs, but still, making a calorieless beverage is amazing. Really it's an abomination upon the Lord our God. Whatever made scientist figured this one out is surely going to hell. When I discovered that it had exactly 0 calories I almost shit a brick.