It means mustache in German

I made the mistake of going to a bona fide pet store. Up to that point I had visited humane societies and city adoption centers. In those places you'll find many a good dog, and I did though none of had that je ne sais qua I hold so paramount. Those dogs range from angsty tween to salty curmudgeon in age so they are still precious but lack that newborn puppy spark. I managed to maintain self control.

Then I go to this retail pet store where the pups are young. Generally around 2-3 months old. Pups who could bring a nation to ruins with the sheer magnitude of their cuteness. I don't mean a nation would ruin itself in some internecine race to 'acquire' their cuteness. I mean that if their cuteness were released in full the nation would merely be razed and it's citizens wiped out by some unseen cuteness force.

I played with a schauzer puppy.

I wanted to take him home so I ask the lady how much. She tells me "830$". At first I just stared at her waiting for the absurdity of her 'little joke' to crack through in the form of laughter and "just kidding"'s. When that proved fruitless I looked to her cronies behind her, figuring that perhaps one of them might prove less able to master the internal giddy that surely rocked their cores when they heard their friends jest. I got squat. They were serious, and whats worse, they were completely unapologetic. Apparently they often ask for close to a grand for a puppy and thought nothing of it. To wit, I think I saw a flash of condescension when she realized I was shocked, SHOCKED at her outlandish asking price.

It was like watching the Sopranos, when Tony 'offs' someone. I walked away wondering where their moral compass was set, how they slept at night, who they thought they were.

Anyway, I called back today and the schauzer is down to 780. I'll keep checking. If he makes it to a reasonable price I'll snag him up, though I doubt he will.