Orchestra

For lunch today I took in an afternoon performance of the Seattle Symphony. Since I was hungry I found their opening with "Hoe Down" from Rodeo, or what I found out to be the "beef, it's what for dinner" song quite grating. Besides that slight I enjoyed it as I always enjoy orchestra.

There are three things about orchestra that always get to me. First is the bald-faced absurdity of the concept. Here's how it breaks down to me: A group of people decided that they are going to take some wood and horse-hair and on a whim create beauty that isn't seen, but experienced. It can't be put more precisely. What music is and what music does, when taken together, confounds. It is particularly stark when you watch the music makers live.

The second thing is the Violin players, or the way they play their instrument. As they hold the violin to their cheek and allow their faces to progress through the entirety of our expressive spectrum I feel left out. It's like they are snuggling a lover to their cheek and holding a whispered conversation. I feel it is rude and almost overtly sexual.

The third thing is a little more techincal. Orchestra conductors don't seem to conduct on the downbeat, but rather on the upbeat. I found out when I did the orchestra thing that it's how you conduct strings; it has something to do with bowing and bratty-ass musicians. To an old band salt like myself it's like the conductor's requisite wild mane of hair is swaying out of sync, almost like a bad xvid file. While it's very off-putting I am inexorably drawn to watch the conductor. Often very slight people will seem larger than life as they dance a movement out of an army of musicians. Also I had a /MAD/ crush on our drum major in high school. In any case a third of my time is spent reconciling the conducter with the orchestra.

I was impressed.